:)

Brendon Urie with The Dresden Dolls singing "Baby One More Time".

Phenomenal. XD

So much for that blog break.

execution.

Hussein hanged with 'fear in his face'

Saddam Hussein was hanged Saturday for crimes committed in a brutal crackdown during his reign, U.S. and Iraqi sources tell CNN. Iraq's national security adviser said: "He was a broken man... You could see fear in his face." President Bush called the execution "an important milestone" for Iraq.

So, I guess all's well that ends well? It's New Year for Pete's sake. I am feeling New Year-y. I can't wait. This is sooo much fun.

I am feeling headachy. This calls for a blog break. I will be back on Tuesday, probably. XD

Always you and me // Part 1

This is the part one cause I am just too lazy to put up the other two parts but rest assured I'm gonna post it today. Without further ado..

Always you and me

Now.

What are you waiting for?

And she stared at me with those disarming eyes, and I swear to you, I saw the world.

The world was mine.

"I hate you! You're everything that makes the world bad, Josh Fenessy! And believe me, if you died, you won't certainly be missed!"

Her hair was swept up by the wind, tangled mess of blonde, but somehow beautiful against the golden and red leaves that danced around her.

She smiled.

For some reason, I smiled back.

"Did it ever occur to you that money isn't the only thing that matters?"

She leaned her head against the trunk of the tree, the rough bark a sharp contrast against her skin. She swung her legs back and forth, and the branch swayed beneath her. I was afraid she might fall, but she kept her balance.

She always kept her fucking balance.

"Come down here," I said, annoyed at having to look up at her.

She laughed. "Come up here!"

I scowled.

"It's depressing isn't it Fenessy? You can't even think properly unless your father tells you what to do and when to do it. Are you scared?"

"Afraid, Josh?" She asked teasingly.

"No," I snapped.

"Come on then!" She scooted over and patted the space she made on the branch.

"I won't let you fall."

I have fallen.

"I have fallen."

She shook her head and her blonde straight hair swayed against her shoulder, and for the life of me I couldn't tell you why I was so mesmerized. "You were alone when you fell. It's different now."

You couldn't even imagine.

I snorted. "I don't need you."

She didn't say anything. She didn't have to.

"You always have these excuses for doing these mean things you do but I know deep down, you just really misunderstood. Do something."

We stared at each other for a long time, and when my neck began to hurt from looking up, I decided that enough was enough.

"Fine. I'll bloody come up."

Her smile grew and it had me climbing the damn tree even faster. It was a tall tree. Tall and large. It was on the very edge of the lake where we usually meet and its limbs stretched toward every direction. Autumn had turned its large leaves gold and red, and I normally would have hated the weather... but nothing was really normal these days.

I sat next to her, in the space she had made, keeping a firm grip on the tree's trunk. After reassuring myself that I was safe from falling, I turned my head and sent her a triumphant smile. "See, there's nothing to it."

She rolled her eyes. "No, of course not for you." She closed the small space between us and pressed the side of her body against me, leaning her head against my shoulder. She wrapped her arms around my elbow. "See," she said sleepily, "if you fall, I fall."

And I just wish it made sense.

"So... not that this will ever happen... but what if you decided not to follow in your father's footsteps and just be you? What would you be? Because honestly, you could be so much more. You're just too blind to see it."

It's gray. I was in this place where everything was gray. No blacks or whites. Things used to be easy like that. Either black or white and nothing in between. I wanted things to be the way they used to be. Black. White.

Not this gray.

My father was everything I wanted to be. My father was everything I didn't want to be. That's white. And that's black. I was feeling both, so that's gray. Stay with me here.

Dean was an overrated holier-than-thou basketball player that everyone worshipped. Dean is the greatest basketball player to set foot in our school. That's black. That's white. But I'm seeing, feeling, knowing fucking gray.

And then, there's her.

"Someone might see us," I said. I felt her tense against me, and I knew she liked things just black and white too. I knew that she was trying to make things between us black and white. Just like before, but just the opposite. Inverted versions of what we once were.

"They're all at the basketball game. No one will see us," she said after a moment.

"I should be there, watching the other teams. We'll be playing their team next week after all."

"I suppose you should be there. And I should be cheering for my best friend, but here we are," she said softly while nuzzling my neck.

And it didn't make any sense.

"If we're going to serve detention, we might as well be civil about it... Do you think it's possible that we could just forget who we are to each other? Just for now."

And the wind blew and the leaves continued their dance, and we sat in that tree I swore to burn down once upon a time.

The questions and answers hung in the air between us. They'd hung there since the beginning. And sometimes she answered and other times I asked. Sometimes we'd acknowledge the inevitable, but not for long.

We wanted it, you know. Black and white.

We yearned for a reality where the irrationality of a black cloud, a white night, a black rose and two members of the most known feuding family, Fenessy and Michaels to be together and it made perfect sense.

It wasn't some petty romance. This wasn't the love that all the girls dreamt about. This wasn't love. There's an end to everything. An edge to everything. The fucking end. And Amie and I... we just reached the edge of a burning hate and we had nothing left to do except fall.

It's not supposed to make any sense.

Sometimes I felt like I was the only one falling. She glided through the days as if nothing had changed. Her friendship with Dean was as strong as ever, even though she was going behind their backs and having an affair with one of their worst enemies. She treated me as if I had been her lover for years instead of someone who despised her for what they are.

She was keeping her balance and I was stumbling around frustrated and stupid, trying to find some semblance of normality in all of this.

She drove me crazy.

"Kiss me."

Yeah, fucking crazy.

"Fenessy! Oh my... Fenessy! Did you fall? What were you thinking?! Are you okay? Say something!"

I had wanted to kiss her for a long time. Maybe since that night during 8th grade that I realized for the first time she was female and quite attractively so. I pushed those thoughts away, though, because she was a member of the Michaels family and never, I repeat that, never does a member of the Fenessy family associate with them. But those thoughts, and that want, came back full force the day she leaned over me, concern marring her features, and told me I had to be an absolute idiot if I couldn't keep my balance is such a large tree.

"You're a basketball player for Pete's sake!"

To this day I still blame the concussion for making me begin to want and desire something so utterly forbidden.

God, I wanted her.

And now I had her, and for some reason the ache for her still remained. Even now, as my lips touched her it spun like a white ball of pain in my chest that grew when she nibbled on my bottom lip and caressed my face with a gentleness I couldn't comprehend.

"I don't understand it either. Do you think I want to feel this way about you? I don't at all. But I can't ignore it anymore. So where do we go from here Fenessy?"

Sometimes I wondered what my father and mother would think if they saw me now. Would they be too shocked to remember to be angry? Would my mother pity me? Would my father cast me away and strip me of my name?

Would I be too caught up in Amie to care?

Yes.

And it just wasn't supposed to make any sense.

A loud roar of overexcited crowd came from the direction of the gym and Amie pulled her lips away from mine and looked toward it.

"Dean's team must have won," she said her hazel eyes were bright with pride and her smile was knowing.

The usual envy of Dean Carter and something more violent took hold of me and I snarled at her. "Guess you'll be wanting to go congratulate him on how wonderfully perfect he is. Suppose you'll want to worship him with the rest of them."

She looked at me. Started at my tone. I expected her to get angry with me and tell me off like she usually did when I spoke of Carter this way. Which was all the time, mind you. I expected a stony glare and a cold shoulder. But I didn't get any of that.

She just shook her head. "Oh Josh..." She said and smiled sadly. She leaned toward me and kissed me softly.

I knew that with that kiss that she was mine. That's white. But she would always have a place for Carter that was right above my own. That's black.

"I'll see you later tonight," She said and with a skill I would always admire, she crawled over my lap and climbed down the tree, her eyes never leaving mine.

And this is gray.

When she was safely on the ground she turned to leave, but then stopped, and stared at me, frowning.

"What?" I snapped.

"Will you be able to get down without breaking your neck?" She asked, her tone dead serious.

My eyes narrowed. "Don't be stupid. Now go. Hurry to your Carter, Michaels before he starts to wonder where you are."

She stared at me for a long time. The sun was falling below the horizon casting a red glow on the grounds. The warm light caught her eyes and turned them a deep auburn.

They burned.

"I wish I could love you Josh."

They fucking burned.

The wind picked up again, the leaves spiraled around her, glowing with the dying light. Golden and red. I closed my eyes. Shut the image out. I wanted it gone.

I opened my eyes and it was gone.

"Are you afraid of change? I am, sometimes I always want things to be stable and concrete... but then it falls apart. For better or worse, it always fall apart. You'd figure I'd be used to it by now, but if I were... this, you and me, wouldn't be so odd, now would it?"

I leaned my head against the tree's trunk and quietly damned the world.

[END OF PART ONE]

dancing in the moonlight.

Christmas is over and done with and I can't wait for New Year. XD Albeit, this year it feels so different from the past Christmases and New Years we had. I wonder why.This is my picture when I got my hair cut. Bangs, pare. Bangs. XD

Doesn't look too bad does it?

Happy New Year!!

in the spirit of christmas. :)

O little town of Bethlehem,
How still we see thee lie.
Above thy deep and dreamless fatima
The silent stars go by.

O Little Town Of Bethlehem
from the Christmas Song Generator.

Get your own song :

tis the season.

Teddy and I would like to wish everyone..

a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS and

a PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR!

♥

madness pare.

O. God. The title of book seven has been released. EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT FROM JK ROWLING!! Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. XD

This is just too exciting. I can't wait for the movie and the book!! XDD

Lucky people from the UK can already order for the book. How annoying.

XD

trigger happy.

If there's such a word like trigger happy, is there a word trigger sad? Which sounds absolutely horrible if you ask me.

I got what I wished for, Veronika Decides to Die. But not the other ones. I seriously want my mom to go home. This sadness is just too much, and to think it's Christmas.

And I-Benevolence people who didn't go today, I seriously dislike you at the moment. What the F happened? Why didn't you guys attend? That was seriously irresponsible and annoying of you. And for your information, Mrs. Felicerta was greatly disappointed. Gah. Ingrates. I am just freaking annoyed at the moment.

And for that person who tried to give me a gift but I didn't accept it [wtf is wrong with me?] I'm terribly sorry. Believe me when I say I was just kidding when I did that. Seriously.

And can someone buy me the silicon something from humor post for the 2GB iPod? The angel one. It is just so terribly cute~

XD

♥

someday.

Someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, I wanted you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day I'll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you
Someday, someday

I keep wishing that that someday would come.

Sooner or later, I have to move on.

Don't I?

Christmas is just around the corner.

We're going to have a Christmas party for our class last year. It's going to be fun. XD Albeit, we're not really sure of the availability of our venue. Aah, screw venue. We're going to have this party anyways. XD haha.

Oh, and Landon Carter.. I love you!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Screw that.

New Year is a time for change.

And what great change it is.

I've been bothering my dad for the past week to let me have bangs. Fortunately, he did. :) I now have bangs, but damn it.. I look like.. gah! I don't know what I look like. For me it looks okay, but for others.. it might not. And that sucks cause I'll be hearing comments behind my back that I look like a freak. So much for Christmas.

*~*
ANSWERS!

Q1: If you know a woman who's pregnant who had 8 kids already, 3 were deaf, 2 were blind and 1 was mentally retarded not to mention she has syphilis [it's an STD] would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Q2: It's time to elect a new world leader and only your vote counts, here are the facts about the 3 candidates:

Candidate A:
- associates himself with crooked politicians
- consults with astrologists
- had 3 mistresses
- chain smokes and drinks 8-10 times a day

Candidate B:
- he was kicked out of the office twice
- sleeps till noon
- used opium and drinks a quart of whiskey everyday

Candidate C:
- he is a decorated war hero
- a vegetarian, doesn't smoke and drinks occasionally
- never cheated on his wife

If you chose NO TO ABORTION, congratulations. You just didn't kill Beethoven. :)

If you chose Candidate A, nice job! You voted Franklin Roosevelt as the new world leader.

If you chose Candidate B, good work! You just voted Winston Churchill as the new leader of the world.

If you chose Candidate C, congratulations! You just voted Adolf Hitler as the new world leader.

P.S. For all those who gave me gifts, and are planning to give me presents, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!! XD

P.P.S

DEAR SANTA,
I have not been good this year. So don't bother coming to our house unless you will give lots of presents for my brothers.

[P.P.]P.S. We don't have a chimney anyways so it's really out of the question.

Love,
Fatima

All I want for Christmas is you.

I've decided to turn over a new leaf. I know it's too early for New Year's resolutions but must we really wait for New Year to change? I mean, isn't change inevitable? Sooner or later, we have to accept the fact that we need to move forward.

Anyways, I've decided to be an environmentalist.

*crickets*

Okay, not the best reciprocation I've received but it's better than nothing. And I am seriously considering turning vegetarian.

*laughter can be heard from the audience. not the hey-i'm-gonna-shut-up-now kind of laugh but the i'll-laugh-till-i-can't-laugh-no-more kind of laugh*

What? I now find the slaughter of animals repulsive. And since I think I failed our test in Biology, I need to freaking bring a specimen.

All together, eww.

It's not that it's disgusting, it's more the fact that I don't wanna kill any poor animal. That's just sad.

And besides, I really need to lose weight. I mean, have you seen ME?! Nope, I'm guessing not. And it's not a big loss really. XD

And by the way, I really need someone to give me the book "VERONIKA DECIDES TO DIE". Gah. I need it. Like need in the sense that I'll-die-if-you-don't-give-me-this type of need. Waa.

:)

Forgive me. I am so terribly insightful today. By the way Fermin, you are so funny earlier.

*Script not accurate. Based only on what I remember.*

"I'm an asteroid and I'm gonna banish all of you." [Wehh. Don't believe this. I made it up. It has the same sense though. =P]

"Noooo!"

"Yeeees!"

"Noooo!"

"Yeeees!"

"Noooo!"

"Yeeees!"

"Noooo!"

"Okay fine, you win." *slowly turns around to walk away*

"Wait! You tricked me. Now I'm mad. Grr."

HAHAHAHA. I just love it. ♥

keep holding on.

Until that day comes, when it hurts so much more than how it hurts today, and until that day I'm ready to let go.. I'll keep holding on.

Love can move mountains. Why can't I move his heart?

"Maybe you're not trying hard enough."

"Maybe I'm not..

because maybe he's just not worth it."

"Don't worry child, he's worth each and every one of it."

"Promise?"

"I swear."

I hope so.

differentiate.

Differentiate dream from an illusion.

Dreams are from the heart.

Illusions are from the mind.

Dreams are things that you want to attain, but then they become reality. And reality is just harsh.

Sometimes when reality gives you a call, you wake up realizing that all of this is just too good to be true, that all of this is just a dream and that hurts because for once, just for once.. it feels like the whole world is going right. Then again, dreaming isn't supposed to be real.

Dreaming awakens the imagination and lets us believe that we can be what we want to be, that that reality is at least attainable.

Nellie O'Malley: First snow. Do you think we're dreaming?
Samantha: If we are, I hope I never wake up.

-- Samantha: An American Girl Holiday

Wake up child, nothing is like that. Reality is giving you a call. Sorry to burst your bubble, but it's the truth. And truth hurts.

Stuff to provocatively challenge the mind.

Challenge!! Answer the following questions given below and post your answers in my tagboard with reasons why, since my HaloScan Commenting sh.it. isn't working, which sucks if you ask me.

Oh, and students of Mrs. Abadilla can't answer this because you already know the answer and that would make it all worthless. I'll be posting the answer [probably] next week. :)

*~*

Q1: If you know a woman who's pregnant who had 8 kids already, 3 were deaf, 2 were blind and 1 was mentally retarded not to mention she has syphilis [it's an STD] would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Q2: It's time to elect a new world leader and only your vote counts, here are the facts about the 3 candidates:

Candidate A:
- associates himself with crooked politicians
- consults with astrologists
- had 3 mistresses
- chain smokes and drinks 8-10 times a day

Candidate B:
- he was kicked out of the office twice
- sleeps till noon
- used opium and drinks a quart of whiskey everyday

Candidate C:
- he is a decorated war hero
- a vegetarian, doesn't smoke and drinks occasionally
- never cheated on his wife

Dandy eh? XD I just loved this week especially our English class. It was just so.. thought provoking. Hehe. XD

:)

And my ultimate favorite...

Aww. HAHA. XD

I should be doing a lot of things other than this but I can't resist.

Besides, if the frequency of the recessive allele is 30 percent, the frequency of the heterozygous carrier would be what percent?

Long live biology.

This is the story of a girl..

who cried a river and drowned the whole world. =c

I'm still hung up about last Sunday. It was just so much fun. Too much adventures in one day. It's just annoying because I didn't get to watch Happy Feet. Aww. XD

And this freaky guy keeps texting me and won't stop bothering me. I told him to give it a rest already, but he won't freaking stop. Thank you so much cousin.. this is all your bloody fault.

You could just go to hell right now and I won't bloody give a damn. That's how much I love my cousin. She's just bloody annoying and frustrating these days. I swear, one of these days I am going to kill her.

Okay, maybe not. I would if I could be bothered, but I'm just too freakin tired.




"And just then did she realize, she truly did love him. No, she loves him still."

Weh.

On the other hand, I love my iPod. HAHA.

It's silver with a 2 GB capacity. I love it. ♥

*~*

Last Friday was just... sad. =c

I even cried for that thing. That's how important it was for me. And then to have it taken away.. it's not at all fun.

oh yeah?!

Ever felt the fear of your head blowing up because everything's just so confusing and frustrating it doesn't even make sense?

That's what it felt like losing something we actually did think we have a chance of winning.

4 words:

We.want.freaking.justice.

Want, not need.

P.S. Congratulations to those who won.
P.P.S. I'm not being sarcastic.
P.P.P.S. Okay... so maybe I am.
P.P.P.P.S. Well, not really. I'm dead serious.