sweet misery.: February 2007

for my 65th post.

Photoshare:

Prom Queen. [Yea right.]

Sisters. Because it's Valentine's day. :P

Ayan yung galing kay Krister. :P

AND LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST...

Labels: photoblog

it was never meant to be.

I am deeply sorry for not posting. I've been too caught up in things I can't really talk about and I am just experiencing emotional turmoil... again.

**

The last week has been a roller coaster of emotions. I cried from Monday to Friday and there were a lot of people who saw me. ): No, it's not depression. No, it's not about love [partly, though I still can't say if I'm in love or what]. It's just that I will miss everyone when I go to the States, and there's a high percentage of us not coming back. And that sucks I tell you. That sucks big time.

I won't be able to say a proper goodbye.

I won't be able to talk to him and tell him stuff I haven't told him because I was too scared.

I won't be able to attend prom in MaSci.

I won't be able to have Prince as my prom date.

I won't be able to fulfill my dream of becoming the Prom Queen. [Yeaaa. Gay. >:))]

I won't be able to experience pre-prom jitters.

I won't be able to graduate with my batchmates.

I won't be able to be with them for the last two years in my high school life.

That is just freaking sad. ):

**

I received three gifts last Wednesday.

One from Krister, a very big, pink! star that says.. you're special.

One from Erald, a smaller version of Krister's only blue and says.. you're the greatest.

And one from my brother Jaycee, a bear which sings. Annoyingly I tell you. HAHA.

**

Such a sad week really. Last week was better, soo much better. I tell you.

my aso. because i was sick.

I was sick last Friday night [up to now], good thing someone was there to keep me company. Or rather, something.

MY ASO! ♥

Gerard!
Anna!
Guess who that dog is from. ;)
And shut up about it. HAHA.
SMS me.
Or talk to me personally.
Whichever you prefer.
DON'T POST IT IN MY CBOX. :P

Love. Love. Aso. Aso.

:`c

I am sick but I want to go out. I made a promise pa naman. SAYANG TALAGA! Nakakainis. =c

unwritten.

Everybody [i.e GERARD! *ehem*ehem*] can see the difference in me. I think I'm happier and he says it's very obvious.

I have my new reason for smiling. (:

Grabe, I miss him already. HAHA. :P

ALL MY LIFE.. :P

**

Sorry if it doesn't seem to make sense. Inside stuff. :P Konpidensiyal. (:

[EDIT]

Hindi ko na siya miss. Miss na miss ko na siya.

I don't know if I'm.. *shudders* in love or what. All I can say is that I'm in LIKE. HAHA. ((:

i wish.

Sometimes I feel like people don't understand me at all. Scratch that. I know that people don't understand me, but let me say this, I have my own reasons for doing what I do. So if I tell you I can't sing, I can't meaning I feel insecure about my voice. I always have these reasons but I don't really do anything about it. I feel I'm never going to be good enough.

And yes, I do have low self-esteem so don't lower it further by blaming me. I am just gonna turn out crying.

**

And..

I always look in the mirror, not because I'm vain or self-centered or what. It's because I hate how I look. When I look at other people, I can even never see their flaws, but when it's me.. it's flaws that all I see.

I've never felt good about myself, and that doesn't stop now. I never felt I was beautiful like my friends, because I AM NOT.

**

I sometimes think I put myself down too much. Ack.

**

Nasan na ba yung dating Fatima na laging leader?

Nasan na ba yung dating Fatima na laging nagsasalita sa harapan?

Nasan na ba yung dating Fatima na super responsible?

Nasan na ba yung dating Fatima na napaka trusted ng teachers?

Asan ka na ba?

Miss na kita e.

[EDIT!]

All my life, I pray for someone like you. And I thank God, that I finally found you. And I hope that you feel the same way too. And I hope that you do LIKE me too. (:

I'm happier this way. Sobra.

[/EDIT!]

Apparently. Hmm.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

Disorder	Your Score
Major Depression:	Slight-Moderate
Dysthymia:	Slight
Bipolar Disorder:	Very High
Cyclothymia:	Very High
Seasonal Affective Disorder:	High
Postpartum Depression:	N/A
Take the Depression Test

Okay, fine. I admit I'm crazy. And slighly depressed, but I'm happier now. I swear. :)

Oh, and Ate Lau.. plotting your own death is fun. But I haven't made mine yet. Next time, I'm gonna post it here. Just for fun. Haha.

Fun~

This day was so much fun! We practiced Les Miserables in Luneta and we had fun. Too much fun in fact. There are loads of pictures. But here are the ones I ~~like~~ LOVE best. (:

The actors of Les Miserables. I'm the third one, wearing black and red. (:

Hello, FATima! Haha. With Roniel and Jeric. (:

Because we are all gay one way or another. Haha.

The actors with their different poses. (:

I have no idea what I'm doing right here except that I know that I look extremely fat. :P

Jumping up -- Part 1, not much success. :P

Part 2. Still no progress.

Part 3. Si Roniel lang. haha.

Part 4. Malapit na! Haha.

Part 5 -- Isa na lang! [I look stupid. Haha.]

Part 6 -- Smashing success! Haha.

Sino yang nasa gilid na pa epal?! Haha. Takaw.

Because I love Jollibee. ♥

Yes. We do love Jollibee. I swear, passersby are staring at us. They must have thought we lost our minds or something, which isn't really the case. We're all born gay.. and autistic now that I mention it. Haha.